AM? WHAT?

Over the past four weeks, my average bed time was somewhere in the neighborhood of 5:00 AM. This morning I got up at 7:00 AM to get ready for my Greek IV class. Greek, for me, has not been at 7:30 since Greek I and II.

My alarm went off this morning, and I literally almost screamed. Then when I realized that it was my alarm, I almost cried.

I have a 7:30 and an 8:30 class, but no 9:30. So I have a big stupid break at 9:30. This semester is going to be rough.

I decided a long time ago that the AM is supposed to be at the end of the day and not at the beginning of the day. I have no idea what's going on right now. I feel drunk, and I'm just waiting for LOST season 3 to start. THE END.

WINTER NIGHTS

This winter break has been interesting. My hopes were very high. It seemed that my expectations were a little too optimistic for a moment. Yet here I am. I'm finally experiencing some life again. This break has been both disappointing and completely surprising at the same time. It's not that it turned out bad, it just simply turned out much different than I thought it would.

Christmas was great. So many years had been earmarked by materialism and jealousy over gifts, friendships, and family ties. But this year was somehow different. This year was authentic and beautiful. It seemed that my parents spent less money on gifts this year, and somehow the entire day was more fulfilling. Everyone seemed to be genuinely connecting and enjoying the company of those around them. It was refreshingly simple and authentically merry.

I've been spending time with friends these days. For the first few weeks, I was basically flying solo. Tonight was great for instance. Josh and Jaclyn came over to my house. Josh did impressions of comedian Todd Barry doing Star Trek characters and Jaclyn wowed us with her recitation of the Greek alphabet which I had only taught her the night before.

Eric met up with us and we were off. We went to Josh's house to get some things and talked about the idea of getting another tattoo tonight. He didn't. We left there and listened to some Explosions In The Sky and Josh Ritter. I would strongly recommend checking out those artists.

We met up with James at Starbucks and proceeded to Paddy's. Paddy's is one of those immortal anomalies which will remain in my heart forever. It's a hole-in-the-wall Irish pub. We started out with some stew. Amazing. James ordered some Curry Chips. Equally amazing. I got bagers and mash, which is sausage, mashed potatoes, squash, cherry tomatoes, and a roll. This food is so heavy you could sink the Titanic with it, again. Since the waitress, who has waited on us many times in the past, forgot to put my order in at first, so she offered us free desert. We ordered the bread pudding. Titanic, prepare to sink once more.

Now we are at Nordaggio's coffee house. I absolutely love this place. The night is close to perfect, and yet, I know somehow that it's only beginning. I'm feeling that feeling again. You know the one. Love is in the air and I'm gonna go get my coffee.

Dan

Listening to: Explosions In The Sky

DON'T FORCE IT

Trying to force artistry is like trying to get the really annoying girl at the party to not talk - You might get a few sympathy points for trying, but it just aint happening.

For several days now, I have been in a creative drought. I've been listening to a lot of good music these days. I've been surrounding myself with all the things and people that inspire me on a regular basis. All those familiar faces and places, I've got them all. Yet for some reason, when I sit down with my guitar and a notebook, all I can seem to do fake my way through some uninspired lick or generic recycled line.

Sometimes I get cold feet. I listen to all this great stuff, look at all this great art, read all these great books, watch all these great movies - and then I find myself saying "you're not gonna make anything as good as that." I keep comparing myself to other people, wondering if I'm gonna stack up. Sometimes I foget that I do my best stuff when it's just me and my head is clear and I couldn't possibly care less what people think - when I've got something personal to say, when it strikes me.

I guess I've just been trying to force it. I feel all these amazing songs just sitting in my brain, and I can't find the way to get them out of there and onto the page. Maybe I've been too wrapped up in execution and the process. Maybe I need to let myself be submerged in circumstance. If I just let life happen and make the most of every day, maybe I'll observe something worth writing about along the way. Maybe instead of resorting to the things which, until now, have been sure fire inspirations - maybe I should give something unexpected the chance to be inspiring.

That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to put the guitar up and stop looking over at it. I'm going to stop looking at the empty page. But as soon as life happens, I'll be there to take notes.

-dan

CHRISTMAS PARTIES

Joy to the world, it's time to party.

The Delta-EBB Christmas party is tonight. It should be a ton, or possibly more, of fun. I'm bringing marbles, cards, and dice as a gift. Thanks to Dakotah.

There was a basketball game tonight. Both the girls and guys teams won by like thirty points. That was fun.

I'm thinking about starting an online radio station.

DR. QUIROZ

So, it's 10:00 A.M. on Friday, and I don't have class today. So why the heck am I awake so early? I'll tell you.

Last night was the Choir concert here at Hillsdale. It was actually really good. Afterward, I ran into Dr. Shaw, my Greek professor among many other classes, who told me I was looking sharp. I believe his exact words were "almost dressed up." He then asked me if I wanted to teach his 8:20 Greek I class for him in the morning.

Now, there was no way I was going to turn this down, so I said yes. He informed me the chapter they are going over is the chapter over "liquid verbs" which is just any other verb who's stem happens to end in lambda, mu, nu, or rho. So, I sat down with my old Greek book, brushed up on liquids and hit the proverbial hay.

Four hours later, when my alarm was going off, I must admit I was pretty close to just rolling back over and going straight back to bye bye land. However, I did not. I got up and walked proudly down to the classroom ready to teach. When I got there, Dr. Shaw was slightly surprised to see me, but relinquished the class to me.

Class went very well, and now I am in the library writing this. I hope to be back to sleep within the hour. Night.

A STORY ABOUT...

This week is neat so far.

I've been working on editing the rough cut of the film this week. Monday night I went to the basketball game. We lost. Then I went up to the editing lab and got to work. I worked on it for about four hours that night, I didn't leave until 1:00 A.M..

Tuesday I got up and went to lunch. Barbecue chicken, yum. Then I went straight up to work on the film. I worked on it until 5:30. I went to dinner. Pizza, yum. Then I went right back up and worked on it for about four more hours.

Well anyway, long story short - I finished the rough cut of the film. Wednesday during class we watched the finished product. It was very good. Travis, our teacher, said "that was the best film I've ever seen from beginners." I was pretty happy about that.

After that I went to pay the electric bill with Stacie. Then we went to the dollar tree to get some wrapping paper and such. We had a really good talk about life and death and everything in between.

When I got home I took a nap. But it wasn't one of those awesome naps where you're just out cold for hours. It took forever to fall asleep, and then I kept waking up. But it wasn't so bad.

Mike Dee has been sick for several days now, he's had to miss work and stuff. I felt really bad for him, when I woke up, Dakotah was gone to the store to get some medicine for Mike. Once Dakotah got back we met up with Stacie and Brandon and we headed out to Pizza Shuttle to get some ZZA's.

Everyone was pumped up about the adventures we might have. We all piled in Stacie's VW bug. The tooshie warmers were on, very toasty. We left the school and set out for Norman country.

We were about to get on the highway when it all happened.

A big nasty purple van came tearing around the corner, totally in our lane. Stacie hit the breaks and swerved toward the ditch, she handled it very well. Some how the van still managed to SMASH across the left side of the tiny bug.

We came to a stop and made sure everyone was alright. And just as we are gaining our composure, we look over and lo and behold, the van is driving away.

"Oh screw that! Go go go! Get him!" I start yelling. Everyone agreed, and we turned around and tried to chase the guy down, but by the time we were turned around and on the right path, the van was gone forever into the night. We went back to the scene of the crash and got out and inspected the damage. Stacie's front left fender, hub cap, left door and mirror were all messed up. But the good thing was that everyone was fine.

I called the police to come out, not that they would be able to do ANYTHING, but we called anyway. The nice officer came out and looked at the car and told us what to do and everything and we were on our way. Stacie said "well we're still going to Pizza Shuttle, I'm not gonna let this ruin our night!" What a great philosophy.

So we went and, as always, the Shuttle was a delight. We played pinball and Mrs. Pac-Man as usual. The food was awesome, and it was just exactly what we all needed to get our minds off the wreck. Unfortunately, no one brought a camera, so I've posted pictures from the last time we went, which was exactly a week prior.

The last time was the night after Andrew's funeral. Now that's twice the Shuttle has served us by lightening the mood after a heavy day.

After that we went to Borders and looked at some books and stuff. Brandon showed us this book about 100 interesting American teens or something like that. He had a chance to be in the book, but thought it was a scam so he didn't pursue it. Whoops. Dakotah bought a poetry book and a book by Tolkien. We looked at some design magazines and left. We headed back for the school.

I noticed that all night Brandon had looked just like Marty McFly from Back To The Future. So I did what I usually do, I made a picture about it. And that was basically the conclusion.

I went inside, worked on the pic, watched Batman The Animated Series on DVD, and ate some leftover ZZA. Then I went to bed.

Now I'm awake, writing. I'm going to go get some hot wings for dinner and then take a Systematic Theology test. And then tomorrow night is the Delta-EBB Christmas party, AND Tiffany's birthday party. I'm gonna have to make some tough choices.

Oh my crazy life. Until tomorrow.


Stacie cannot make a mean face to save her life!

Brandon McFly

Going for the high score

Oh those boys of mine!

Pinball

ZZA

GOING HOME

Now and again, we come across chapters in our lives which force us to step back and take a look at things, objectively. These parts, from an outsider's point of view, might seem indistinguishable from any other part in one's life. Yet, you - you are in it - deep within the trenches of life and living, which are surprisingly seldom the same thing.

My friend Andrew died about a week ago. This ongoing chapter is, so far, one of the harder to bare. Though it has been difficult, I find myself growing weary of the sound of my own complaining. I miss him very, very much. The pain is hard to hide.

I am going home for Christmas break in a few weeks. More and more the ever present knowledge that winter is the season for love comes knocking at my door. While, I do keep my mind occupied, it is difficult to ignore that things are always in motion in the winter. Lives are changing. Snow is falling. It is the perfect season to hold a loved one in the falling snow, and share that one perfect moment - or perhaps many. I fear I might be all out of love. Or maybe I'm just scared. Sadly, I find myself not caring anymore. At least for now.